Meeting people in person carries real risks — but good screening, boundaries, and exit plans dramatically reduce them.
This page compiles peer-tested strategies used by sex workers worldwide. Nothing replaces your gut instinct.
Screening isn't optional — it's your first line of defense.
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First contact — Quick screening call/text (5–10 min)
- Ask for: Real first name (or verifiable alias), provider references (2+), recent test date
- Verify: Google the references (cross-check profiles), ask a specific question only a real client would know
- Red flag responses: "I don't give references", "My other providers don't answer", evasive answers
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Second contact — Confirmation 24–48 hours before meet
- Confirm logistics only after screening cleared
- Send deposit if you require one (use SeeMyNudes tip system or crypto for traceability)
- Ask for: 2–3 recent provider references (stage names + contact method)
- Verify: Message the references privately (ask: "Did you see [client] on [date]? Any issues?")
- Optional advanced: Ask for a clear face photo holding a paper with today's date + your handle (discard immediately after verification)
- Reverse search phone/email/username
- Google "[name] + city" + "review" or "complaint"
- Check sites like USASexGuide, Reddit subs (r/SexWorkersOnly if public), or local forums (use incognito)
Immediate block/no-show if any of these appear:
- Refuses screening or references
- Pushy about bare services / "barely legal" talk
- Last-minute location changes or "surprise" guests
- Excessive questions about your personal life / real name
- History of violence, non-payment, or boundary violations (from references or ugly mugs lists)
- Offers way above average rates (can signal LE or robbery setup)
- Aggressive/angry when you enforce boundaries
Gut feeling trumps everything — if something feels off, cancel politely.
- Use hotels/Airbnbs with good security (cameras, front desk, keycard access)
- Never use your home address
- Have a visible "panic button" app (Noonlight, bSafe) or trusted friend on speed dial
- Keep phone charged + nearby
- Set a hard session end time — enforce it
- Never go to private homes on first meet — hotel only
- Share exact location + client details with a trusted buddy
- Arrive early: Scope the place, note exits, car placement
- Keep shoes/jacket/keys ready for quick exit
- Use hotel lobby meet-up first if possible
- Two-call system extension: Text trusted contact when you arrive and when you're safe/out
- Keep barriers (condoms, lube) visible and non-negotiable
- De-escalation: Calm voice, "I need to step out for a minute" to create space
- Emergency exit phrase: Text a pre-agreed word to buddy (e.g., "pineapple" = come get me)
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National / Regional Lists:
- UK: National Ugly Mugs (uglymugs.org) — anonymous reporting
- US: Ugly Mugs US, SWOP Bad Date List, local provider networks
- Australia: Respect Inc or Scarlet Alliance resources
- Global: Check Hacking/Hustling or local decrim orgs
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How to report safely: Use anonymous forms, no identifying details about yourself
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If assaulted: Report to police if you feel safe (many areas have sex-worker-friendly units now), or seek peer/legal support first (SWOP, Red Umbrella Fund)
This page is community-built.
Add your screening questions, local ugly mug resources, or de-escalation stories that worked.
Edit freely — keep it anonymous and supportive.
Last updated: February 2026
💜 Your safety comes first — always